BACK ON THE RIGHT PATH
In the past few blogs , i just cried and complained about how i am struggling to focus and i want to enjoy my breaks and i am not able to do that meanwhile i didn't focus on the thing that mattered the most my study hours.
Enjoying the breaks wasn't the goal of any day , the goal was to make sure i study for 8 hours everyday and i procrastinated on it and start chasing this stupid goal.
My brother called me and as we were talking he confronted me about my bitch mentality and being weak in my last few blogs. Crying and being a bitch about not getting enough enjoyment from the breaks and stuck in the decision fatigue in netflix and youtube all day.
He talked about ACTION , and how i am doing everything except that. I am doing productive procrastination and writing blogs and tweets but not taking the real world action on my study.
Mentally masturbating about how i would get a job or telling my friends i would move to a nicer society once after clearing the SSC CGL or i would buy this and that , Meanwhile they just reminding me that i haven't cleared the exam yet and i am miles away from achieving the goal.
I also engaged in my past habits the last two days and watched series and porn and ate fast food, went to bed in the morning at 9 am and then after waking up started thinking about how i have fucked up.
But this time i wasn't mad about or being depressed about it. I realised that those bad habits give me same dopamine or pleasure that they used to give before they haven't changed a bit.
During the exam time my mom used to tell me , I should turn off the tv cause i can watch the cartoons and movies on tv anytime after the exam they won't stop but i only have limited time till my exam and it won't come back .
I used to ignore her and say that this cartoon is different and won't come back again or this movie is different but after the exams , all those movies and shows repeated if not on tv they were easily available on WEB but those days of preparation that i left behind didn't come back ever again. In short, she was right . I only have a limited time before any test ,exam or goal.
All the entertainment things that i become crazy about jre's podcast , songs , sidemen videos , mr beast gameshow , mr beast youtube videos , KSI's latest video, Latest standup comedy , kill tony episode , ari matti's new joke , tanmay bhat's new meme review , latest controversy , Elon's latest project or controversy, Tesla's latest event , spacex rocket launch , starlink new deals , india -china conflict , world war 3, middle east problems , Corruption in socities , decreasing population of japan, problems in the 3rd world countries , accusation on mr beast , people hating lunchly ,prime, latest netflix series , best anime of the year, new movies series , best oscar animation , what is the new technology , AI , how will ai change the world.
All these things are noise in the dataset of my brain .
When i was learning DATA MINING during this Sem, in my college , Our teacher told us to get rid of noise from the dataset cause noise doesn't help the data set computations .
Same way all the noise that i mentioned above is out of my control and i can't change or dictate any of those values, The only way to get good results from dataset is to remove the noise and filter the dataset.
All those things doesn't matter to me not even little bit cause neither i can change anything nor i can help anybody. The first person i need to help is me.
So , i am gonna go on the right path in which i stay away from noise and work hard to achieve my goals rather than thinking i will say thankyou to all the people who i follow cause none of those motherfuckers are here , I am here all alone and i have to win the war against myself alone that's life.
Fuck idols, heroes and putting people on a fucking pedestal , FUCK IT!!