BEING ACCOUNTABLE
In the last blog , i wrote that i have to give up watching youtube , listening music , podcasts, audiobooks and focus on working a minimum of 4 hours everyday.
Today was the first day of that practice , I felt empty inside and wanted to listen to something as i was unable to fall asleep without using earbuds and listening to podcast or audiobook. Woke up late then went to college came back and cooked lunch and completed my DBMS practical file , went to gym and wrote a physics practical.
One confession that i have to make is I am not strong enough now to completely give up phone and audiobooks. I listened to audiobooks of David goggins , Cameron hanes during the work. I realised that i am not completely ready yet i feel to empty without something to listen to or read from my phone.
But i will take this thing as a good achievement compared to yesterday cause that's what really matters to me now. Being better than yesterday pushing my limit everyday and doing progressive overload on that.
I am far from the goal of giving up phone and completely able to focus on work for hours without stimulation but I will say this that i like this little achievement that i had today.
I didn't used yt,music,podcast after coming to my room from college i started listening to cameron hanes audiobook and had lunch. After lunch i started making my practical file and didn't get up from chair till i was done I did good that's what i expect myself to do.
The audiobook taught me many lessons from daily hard work to sacrificing everything for your goal and doing it everyday.
My exams are coming up i would have 1st dec to 10th dec for preparing for my exams . Honestly i am scared i get pumped up listening to audiobooks but will i be able to endure the grueling hard work and complete the syllabus that i targeted and solved the pyqs on those topic. I don't know but this feeling show me i am not the person yet that i aspire to become.
As goggins would say , right now i am acting like a little bitch who is scared of the work infront of him and wants to take the easy way out and say he is not good enough and cry over his past.
That's not the person i want to become. These upcoming days are the test of my resolve and my determination for chasing my dream. It's not about the score i will get in exams or will i be able to solve majority question in the question paper. This is a test for myself to finally say that i gave my all to something and i don't care about the result.
These days will be show me who the fuck i really am ? Do i talk big or will i be able to do the work when given or run away like a bitch with my tail between my legs.
It's gonna be interesting cause its me vs me , i know the sources from where i have to study , i know the syllabus , i have internet and i have everything anybody needs to achieve this goal.
One tip that i think i should use it to stop eating chicken till exams are over and shift to eggs cause they are easy to make and don't take mental energy as well as time to prepare.
Great there goes my one problem and i also think that i shouldn't go home till i finish my exam cause i might get distracted and i need to be focused.
Alright then its decided that i am not going to cook chicken (cause it takes a lot of preparation) and i won't go to home till i finish my exam.
These two things will make me more focused.
I should also think about my gym schedule , For the next 27,28,29th dec i won't go to gym cause i have to focus on my practical exams.
While from 1 to 10 i will go to gym in the night cause that will be a good experience for the mind.
Let's see how i will do.
I have also decided that i will keep the blog posts shorter from now till exams and will talk about how hard i worked and where did i slipped and plan for next day so i don't get distracted by this blog.