RUN YOUR OWN RACE
Set the goal to complete 3 lectures in math before starting to study for DBMS practical and i did complete all 3 of those before 4 pm and posted this on X.
I have prepared 5 pages for the DBMS practical of tomorrow , let's see how it goes. I won't start getting anxious this time like i did in all my previous practical exams cause i know the process know and anxiety doesn't help at all.
In college i sat down with my two classmates under the sun after our class got over. Both of them were anxious and said that they were fucking around and didn't know what would happen in the future. After listening to them i realilsed i wasn't the only one who was scared of the future i didn't see others cause they hid it better than me but as they were saying they don't have a plan i remembered my plan of doing masters in english and then learning web dev and then clearing ssc cgl , if i don't get a great job using web dev.
Interesting thing to me was seeing them still laughing and giggling after saying that their upcoming future might be fucked and then talked about the DJ night in college and one of them asked if he can bring his girlfriend to this DJ even though this DJ night was just 2 days before physics practical . Another one of them said he is saving money to buy a guitar and will start playing it.
I have no problem with their life choices , Its their life they should do what suits them best but i realised at that time that these guys are like poison to me right now. They were talking about how their girl group and friends from another streams have started grinding for their jobs and placement while laughing about their condition and judging someone's relationship as would it be better if he had said yes to the girl who proposed her instead of dating this girl.
I realised i am different than everybody in my college , i don't relate with those poeple at all. There are few with whom i relate a little bit and talked about web dev and gym with them but except one or two guys all of them are aliens to me and its OK .
They don't have the same dreams as me ,same aspirations as me of getting a remote job , going to uk , usa ,japan etc , building buisness and having fun while learning martial arts. It would be stupid of me to expect them to get this while they talk about getting a job and that's it. I realise this is similar to my 12th class when everybody was picking jee ,neet while i picked DU for myself and didn't gave a single fuck what anyone is saying or thinking. I had the confidence in myself that time to choose what's best for myself and make a place for my future not following the sheeps.
My preparing for masters i am doing the same thing this time but better cause i will do web dev then ssc cgl, I am not going back.
I have to remind myself again and again that i am chasing my dreams not other people's