Kaishiro

ZERO DISPLACEMENT

Today i realised i am back at the same place where i started this journey of self improvement months ago. it's true that i have gained some knowledge about my self , my insecurities , my strengths , planning but if we look if from the perspective of distance and displacement i would say i have zero displacement.

The reason for this are my fragile notions about future and wishful thinking. Just imagining something and dreaming about it ,saying i will get there , won't get you there you still have to travel the distance between those two places.

When i started this journey months ago to transform myself , I had multiple goals in my mind such as :

It's been months since then and ,

But criticizing myself over and over for this , won't work cause i have tried it multiple times and it doesn't work. First thing that i have to realise is I am carrying a lot of stuff in my wagon and i can't take all of that to the place where i want to go. I have to drop a lot of baggage and expectations if i want to move forward.

If we look at the habits that i decided i will pursue and the situation i am in , they are counter-intuitive and too many for me to handle at once, which is the main reason i fail at them.

For example - I am a third year student in DU , if somebody asks me what is the most important thing for me now , the objective answer is financial security cause if i am making money after graduation then i will be able to change my life on my own term.

Now, the next question simply comes how will i become financially secure and what i am doing for it ? The answer to question in theory is simple i am preparing for master's entrance exam as i clear it in march , I will start learning web dev and start preparing for ssc cgl on the side and by the time i graduate my masters , i hope to clear ssc cgl with good enough marks to get is MEA as ASO or get a good enough job offer (Rs.50K per months minimum) from a software company to move forward.

Now to achieve either the ssc job or the dev job its obvious i need to put in hard work daily and do it for long enough more than 1 year minimum.

If i work for 8 hours everyday from now till the day i graduate i can guarantee myself i will be good enough to follow my dreams.

Now if i look my life from this perspective i will immediately see that major goals such as :

all are the rewards of working , they come after i work daily for a year not before that .

And goals like speaking English isn't important enough cause speaking English won't get me any job my skills will do.

So , If i say i can only do three things everyday they will be :

As long as i do these three things i will achieve my goal of :

So , the thing that should bother me everyday is ,

Nothing should bother me other than these things. Either its musk revolutionizing America after elections or the threat of world war 3 .

I need focus on these 3 points everyday.

Also , i have checking out youtube , having decision fatigue on netflix , behaving like an addict for stand up comedies to make myself feel better , reading and watching more videos about controversies (from Jeff Nippard to Elon musk , hate on Indians , prime , lunchly , mrbeast etc.) I have to remind myself that Steve jobs , Elon musk weren't reading and watching news when they were building apple and tesla . They were working hard on their dreams and did things that mattered to them.

In last , my message to myself is to stay away from NEWS , MUSIC , CONTROVERSIES , YOUTUBE , USE X FOR POSTING ONLY AND A FEW INTERACTIONS IF SOMEONE DM'S YOU.

SEE !!!!!!